How We Spend Our Friday Night

When I was younger, “going out” meant getting sloshed and going to a loud night club.

Now things look a little different.

It seems like every weekend there’s a more inspiring alternative. I’m likely to find my friends at an ecstatic dance event, a kava bar or a sound healing session. This isn’t a momentary “health craze” or a fad — it’s the mark of a growing collective of those who want to feel more alive, vibrant and connected. It’s a movement sparked by a belief that joy is our birthright, especially when we are sober.

Mainstream culture assumes that going “out” means going to a bar. Slugging back drink after drink to lower our inhibitions and feel connected, only to feel tired and dull the next day. There’s an odd bonding that happens when we accept others as they self-destruct, which can lure you in to get “trashed” — for the team.

That’s what my friends did in college, and I think it’s a common experience for most of us. Even buds who would rather play video games in high school started pounding PBRs a few years later. The culture of celebration for “TGIF!” continues into the workforce, breeding more unconscious toxicity.

This is said with no judgment for drinking, partying or clubbing — it’s not a “bad” thing to do by any means. But the fact remains that alcohol is toxic to our bodies, and it fundamentally impairs our judgment and reasoning.

If you want to see your friends most nights of the week, you have to be able to make plans that don’t rack up a tab at the bar, or on your liver.

From Coast to Coast, an alternative culture is exploding, rushing to meet the demand for health-conscious, connected events.

This movement is sparked by those who wish to awaken and connect, to take care of themselves and experience joy from optimal well-being. And in this vein, there are tons of incredible events popping up left and right.

Here are five fascinating events that will help you let loose in a healthy way:

Ecstatic Dance

In 2009, I went to my first Ecstatic Dance in NYC, organized by Natasha Blank. Ecstatic dance is a great way to drop the pretenses and superficial boundaries that we experience in our daily routines. Since you can’t talk to anyone on the dance floor and it’s marketed as a “conscious” event, people feel more safe to to dance silly and wild — trusting that no one is gonna get up and grind on them without permission. One surprising effect I’ve found is an increased sense of connection to others on the dance floor. Just because you can’t talk, doesn’t mean you can’t communicate. It’s a wonderful opportunity to experience how interconnected we are, and how contagious good vibes can be.

Morning Raves

The infamous Daybreaker started the trend, and it’s hippie cousin Morninggloryville is following suit. These events a lot takes a lot of effort to get to — you have to wake up close to 6am in the morning and swear to yourself that you’re going to have fun. These parties start off with some compassion for the early AM journey — with snacks, coffee and yoga. Then it moves into a full blown dance party with costumes galore. Since people are coming with the intention to raise the vibe, you’ll be amazing at how much joy you can experience before 9am. Daybreaker also brings in inspiring artists to give you courage to face your day with grace. Starting the morning off with the same high you might feel at a rave (but sober) is pretty much guaranteed to bring you the best day ever.

Meditative and Yogic Events

Nowadays, you’re pretty likely to meet up with friends for a yoga class or a meditation session after work. These sessions are increasingly becoming less routine and more “special-event” like, with beautiful live music guiding profound experiences, not just work-outs. The trend toward group meditation and restorative experiences is profound as well. Just last month in San Francisco, 190 people gathered five nights in a row for a sound bath meditation called “The Holistic Chamber of Sound”.

In May, 500–1,000 San Franciscans will gather at Grace Cathedral to ease into a deep meditation together for the Sound Meditation for Suicide Prevention Benefit Concert. Even though the experience of deep meditation is personal, doing it in a group reminds us that we’re here to support one another in our journey. After a meditation, it’s easier to connect with others from a pure heart space, and realize how much richness there is in community (and in yourself).

Kava Bars

Sometimes you’d just like a place to go and catch up with a friend (or a first date). Kava bars are popping up all over the place Kavasutra in New York, Kava Lounge in SF and Melo Melo in Berkeley are just a few examples. Kava is a drink that increases social connection, eases anxiety and facilitates relaxation. The real benefits? It won’t affect your judgement, make you sick, or give you a hangover. It’s perfect for a time when you want to bond with someone in a beautiful, easeful setting, and settle into a real conversation.

These are just a few of the opportunities that a progressive, wellness-oriented culture is creating for our entertainment (or “innertaintment” as I once heard it called). Combining our urges to take care of ourselves with our desire to celebrate is both beautiful and efficient. When you have to separate from the pack to take that yoga class or go on that mediation, it’s a rough journey. But when we all do it together, with joy and support, that’s when the real magic happens.